I’m just this one guy
I’m no one special. I’m not a therapist, or any kind of authority. If you are working the 12 steps of Codependence Anonymous, consider me a peer. I’ve attended meetings for more than a decade, I’ve sponsored handfuls of codependents, and I have facilitated many small groups working the twelve steps. I am an elder in a fairly large tribe devoted to healing and recovery. I have witnessed the program reliably deliver the promises it extends to everyone who gives it a shot.
Are You Codependent?
Don’t Ask Me
Go to a CoDA website, or do a search for The Recovery Patterns of Codependency. Read through the five groups of behavioral patterns and see how many of them resonate with you.
Attend a meeting for a few weeks and listen to others who self-identify as codependent. Do any of them make sense to you?
It doesn’t matter what others think. And even though human beings are terrible at self-assessment, only you can make this determination. It’s a really bad habit to diagnose other people, anyway.
Just keep attending
You’ve already tried everything you can think of and not much of it has worked, so you have nothing to lose and it’s pretty much free to attend. If you find yourself wanting to fix other people, you are very likely codependent. Don’t give unrequested advice.
Read About it
You found your way here so you don’t need me to tell you what to read. Let God and Google direct your attention to something that works for you. Get started
Join a Workbook small group and participate
Again, don’t listen to me. Codependents generally take other people’s advice way too much. But … a small group working the steps together gets a lot done. You need a safe place to practice new skills, why not join a team with shared intent and values? And you’re going to need to build your own network of recovery people.